Kill All OCs
by Mizuni-no-neko
Summary: All the boys in SOuth Park are sick and tired of all these OCs chasing them around! So they decide that the only solution is WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER! Send in your OCs that I may kill them! Rated M for killing and if you're lucky, a few lemons.


This was written in response to the growing number of OC stories clogging the site. There are just too many of them!

I am sick and tired of going to this once fine and upstanding site to find some entertaining reading material, of which there used to be unlimited amounts pouring in daily, and finding only the new standard of this now corrupted and reshaped community. "SEND IN YOUR OCs!"!

I don't know about the rest of the people that have gotten fed up with this, but I wouldn't mind an OC story here or there as long as you actually contribute to what the main core of fanfiction is about, and that is pairings between cannon characters.

I'd like to propose a compromise. I'd say…5 good-length, moderately well-written oneshots or one or 2 well-written multi chapter fics, depending on number and length of chapters, for every one Send in your OCs fic would be a good ratio. If we can just reach a consensus then I am sure we can ge this community back to it's former glory. Who's with me!

VIVE LA RESISTANCE!

* * *

Kyle's eyes were wide and wild as he ran from the crowd of girls he had never met and who definitely were _not _from South Park. He whimpered and dashed around a corner as one of them reached for his hat. This was just not his day!

He zigzagged through back alleys, jumping over trashcans and hurtling over broken furniture. He thanked his lucky stars for his track skills as the rabid pack of howling girls fell behind him.

He finally collapsed onto a broken couch, chest heaving and eyes listless. The he realized something that made him jump, scream, roll onto the snowy ground of the alleyway, and apologize profusely to the couch.

Christophe DeLorne had been laying there. He had laid on what looked like a very unhappy Mole.

"Broflowski! What are you doeeng 'ere! You weel lead zem to me!" She whispered frantically, eyes darting around like Tweek without his coffee.

"What are you talking about, Mole? Who's after you?" Kyle asked, looking around out of curiosity and slight paranoia.

"Zose…_banshees_." He hissed, glaring in no general direction. "Zey seem to zeenk I like women. Not only women, zem!" The mercenary laughed. If his bitch of a mother had taught him anything it was that women were completely insane and prone to delusions.

"But…how did they miss you and Gregory? Everyone knows you're together! Besides that, you make out like…everywhere. It's kind of gross, actually." Kyle said, wrinkling his nose.

"Like you and Marsh are any better." The Frenchman scoffed. "I 'ave seen you two around too."

"At least we have some sense of tact when it comes to when and where." He growled, face flushing the same color as his hair.

"Gregory does, too." Christophe defended, something you would never have seen him do for anyone else and something he would never admit to doing for the blonde, either.

"Yeah, until you shove him up against the wall!" Kyle teased.

Just then their friendly argument was interrupted by Kenny, who's clothes were torn and who had lipstick smears all over him.

"Dude, what the hell happened to _you_?" Kyle asked, obviously shocked. Christophe just snorted.

"Probably ex-lovers 'oo do no know ze meaneeng of comeeted relationsheep."

"Not even! It was a bunch of girls I don't even know! The attacked me on my way home from the shop. I barely got away! I thought they were going to kill me, or worse…_do things._" He said, saying the last part with a significant widening of his eyes and a serious nod of his head.

"Do zeengs? Kenny…for such a pervert you really are…'ow do you say? A dork!" Christophe couldn't help himself, he burst in fits of laughter. The way Kenny had looked like some child telling another where babies came from had been too much for him.

"Hey, shut the hell up you French piece of shit! Go eat snails and sing Frere Jaques!" Cartman put in from the window of an abandoned building that he had taken refuge in.

"Damn, fatass, they're after you too?" Kyle cried.

"Shut up Kahl, for your information, they're after everyone. A few of them are even going after that fag Butters." He retorted, adding in "Stupid Jew" for good measure.

Kenny growled out before either of them could comment further. "If they fucking touch my Buttercup I will _kill_ them." He hissed through clenches teeth, eyes ablaze with anger and hatred.

Christophe perked up. "Actually, zat ees not a bad idea. Why not geet reed of our problem by neepeeng eet een ze bud. Eenstead of runeeng and leteeng zem beeld up strengz like we 'ave, why not keel zem all?" He reasoned.

No one found any holes in his logic, they were only a bunch of random girls no one knew or cared about. They weren't even on the show, for christs sakes!

"First let's give our targets names, we cannot just say we 'ave to keel all ze girls. Eef we deed someone might end up meestakeeng someone people actually geeve two sheets about and 'oo actually contreebute to ze world for one of zees random girls." Christophe instructed.

"How about obnoxious cunts?" Kenny snickered.

"Oui, OCs I like zat. All agreed?" Christophe asked. The entire assembled group agreed, and so the name was adopted. They would round up the rest of the guys and see what they could do about getting some wholesale OC slaughter going on.

* * *

This fanfiction is part of La Resistance and is in no way meant to offend OCs or OC writers, it is merely meant as a jest to get people to open their eyes to what they are doing to this site. Thanks go out to any and all who support this movement, and also Special thanks to SuperManakoSohma for the suggestion of what to call OCs and for beta-ing. Donations can be made by way of: Reviews, OCs sent in to be slaughtered in good fun, or fanfictions similar to this one (Cannon character pairings only, please).

A note from the Author: This chapter was indeed short. This is mainly because I, as of yet, have no OCs to slaughter!


End file.
